Body Image During Pregnancy
I step onto the scale. “Have you gained weight?” asks the nurse. A little taken aback I respond “Yeah a little I guess.” “How much?” “I think about 3 pounds.” The nurse makes no further comments, but I’m tempted to let that sinking feeling in my stomach get the best of me. I’m tempted to wallow in the fact that I’m already exceeding weight gain recommendations. Because I’m only ten weeks pregnant, and according to the pros, I’m not supposed to be gaining weight yet. But, I’M TEN WEEKS PREGNANT. You, my darling babe are only just over an inch long and weight one fifteenth of an ounce. In the last eight weeks I haven’t been able to stomach a vegetable. If I can make a smoothie it’s a great day. Aside from that, my “three pound weight gain” has come from trying to sustain myself on the only things that don’t make me gag: carbs. Bagels, toast, muffins, breads, cereal. Meat sounds gross. Fruit is sometimes a win. Of course I try to eat the “healthier” versions of what sound good, but when it comes down to it, of course those foods are going to plump me up a bit. Thankfully, I’ve got experience, self-esteem, and an unshakable confidence in my body and I’m able to keep doing what I need to do to get through these weeks of nausea.
Five weeks later though I step on that scale again. This time it reads an additional nine pounds, bringing the total weight gain to twelve pounds. I’m not even halfway through my pregnancy, and you baby girl, aren’t even close to being halfway grown, but I’ve already gained half of the recommended amount. My nausea is slightly waning. My energy is somewhat returning. I still can’t do a satisfying cardio workout without needing a nap later. But, I do feel like I’m finally coming out of the worst of it and that alone is something to praise. I’m not super thrilled when I see the extra plump on my arms and legs, and I can definitely feel the gain in my booty with how my pants are fitting. But even still, I know this belly is 100% you (okay there’s even an inch or two of fat there too, but no one needs to concern themselves with that). I definitely can get down on myself and feel unappealing. But I also know my past history with pregnancy weight gain, postpartum weight loss, exercise habits, and how I feed my body on the regular. So I’m a bit down, but things are starting to look up!
Once again, I can stomach vegetables. Even some meat (but don’t give me chicken yet, puke). We’re finally able to resume our typical meals (YAY, I was getting sick of eating breads!) Through the next few weeks I’m able to start light weight training again. Next I dabble in cardio and find that I can handle it without the impending nap. I keep it less intense than before I was pregnant, but to me at this stage it feels just as tough so I know I’m getting a good workout. I’m not sure if it’s in my head, but I think my arms and legs are looking better. And as long as I know I’m putting in the work to properly fuel and nourish my body and my growing baby, that’s enough to peak my body confidence.
At nineteen weeks pregnant I go in for another check up. The scale reads three pounds lighter than it did four weeks ago. Some doctors and moms would find weight loss concerning at this point, but the truth is, that still puts me at a total of nine pounds which is exactly where I should be. As I said, I know my body trends during pregnancy and postpartum. I gain a good amount in the first fifteenish weeks, but then I either lose a bit or the gain slows down as my body utilizes the stored fat from those earlier weeks. I do gain the recommended 20-25 pounds, but I lose a few pounds in that final month (as many moms do).
Every mama gains differently. And a really great doctor or midwife knows that and supports you through it all. What’s important during this blessed time is to keep your head in knowing that you are doing everything you can to grow that baby and help develop their every part perfectly. Through food, through using exercise as a means to condition the body for labor (plus numerous benefits for mom and baby), to keep stress at a minimum through lifestyle tweaks and mind calming meditations and prayer, and through nourishing the social and creative aspects of your life to keep up with the true you. Body image is tough to stay positive about when we are always seeking to be better. But, mama, you’ve earned your title through enduring a pretty darn amazing miracle. And body positivity is about so much more than liking our reflection. It’s about what our body is doing for us. Day in and day out. In those special chapters of life where we grow and nourish another life. Where we make it through heartache and find that our hearts is still beating and our lungs are still breathing and we can still see and smell the beauty of a dewy sunrise. Loving ourselves to the fullest is difficult, and takes daily practice and affirmation. Switching “self image” from how much fat we can pinch to how much our body is doing for us daily is a life changer.
So, let me ask you this: your body fights for you every day. From battling foreign bacteria to keep you healthy to being able to digest your food without even a thought. What are YOU doing for your body?